T.R.U.E. Fathers

Father's Day Intitiative...T - 21 Weeks

2012-01-21T13:48:00.007-05:00

Ok fellas, we have 21 weeks to go till we hit Father's Day. How are you doing with shedding the pounds? I haven't done as well as I wanted...only 1 pound lost thus far. I should expect this result because I didn't do everything I wanted to do over the past week. I need to be a little more discipline with my meals and exercise regiment.

So I've lost 1 of the 20 and I have a ways to go, and I do plan to get there. How? I will try to cut down on the bread intake. This will be tough because from time-to-time I do enjoy a small breakfast sandwich from Chik fil A or Micky Ds. I also need to increase my running. This is something I have dreaded doing for most of my life. Even while serving in the military, running was not my top thing to do with my soldiers. Gotta push through it.

I am going to target dropping 2 pounds over the next week. Let's see how it goes.

What's your progress?

Be T.R.U.E.

C Wells

Father's Day Initiative

2012-01-09T22:11:00.008-05:00

Here we go fellas. It's time to get moving.

At a recent gathering of families, a friend of mine declared that he was going to cut his weight down by a significant amount and wanted to put it out there so we could hold him accountable going forward. After thinking about it, I decided I would join in with him to declare an amount of weight I will drop. I want to open this to all fathers out there. It's NOT a challenge to see who can lose the most weight. It is an initiative to get fathers inspired.

Why be inspired? We needed to make sure we are in the best shape possible to ensure we live a long life for our kids...to see them grow up to be adults...to see our grandkids grow up...and maybe be blessed to see a 4th generation come into the world.

Why fathers? I wanted to focus on fathers to give us an extra push that others may not need. As fathers (and also husbands for many), our plates are full and time may be limited. This is a simple initiative to get all fathers to go that extra mile and work to become healthier than you are today.

What do you need to do?

All you need to do is state the amount of weight you are committing to knock off. You don't need to state your current weight...we don't need to know that. You can then post any progress on a daily, weekly, or monthly basis. I plan to create a Facebook page specifically for this so progress updates can be easily posted.

I would like to set an initial "milestone" date for Father's Day. Let's see what we can lose up to that date in June. Then we keep going after that.

Now I will start things off by declaring I will lose between 15 - 20 pounds. Now I'm accountable to everyone reading this.

How much do you declare to lose?

Be T.R.U.E.

C Wells

The Princess Chronicles

2011-12-11T10:04:00.011-05:00

I recently took part in a Holiday party at a Family Resource Center located in the Atlanta metro area. It was an event that allowed single mothers to be in one ballroom to enjoy a well prepared meal and fellowship; while the kids were in another room with volunteers playing, talking, and watching a movie. One of the extras is that gifts were provided to the kids and for the kids to give to their mom. The gifts provided to the kids were a set of books.

The books given to the kids were prepared to be age appropriate for each kid. Well there was one little girl that was very sad (tears being shed) with the books she received. She really wanted a princess book that some of the younger girls received. I think some of the other volunteers may have thought she was being ungrateful. Once I sat down with her to get her to stop crying, I asked her about the tears. She went on to tell me that she doesn't like "chapter" books...she likes princess books. I realized her sadness wasn' t solely based on her liking princess books. The root of the matter was the chapter books she received was not age appropriate for her. A simple mistake made by the volunteers distributing the books.

I then starting talking to her about princesses and asked her if she was a princess. She said no she wasn't but that she had princess items at home. I told her that she is a princess and that every little girl is a princess. She then told me something that really struck a chord with me as a father. She said, "My daddy doesn't call me a princess". Without even thinking, I told her that she is a princess and that she will always be a princess know matter what. I felt a lot better when her tears dried up and we then found a book that she liked and read it from cover to cover. By the time the party was over, she was all smiles again and greeted her mother with a big smile of party enjoyment.

Now initially I was wondering who the father was and why doesn't he tell his daughter that she is a princess and that she is his little princess. I realized that maybe that's something some fathers don't say to their daughters.

It is my belief that every little girl should feel as though she is a princess and hear those words of acclamation...and if possible, that acclamation should come from the father. I think I tell my 2-year old daughter everyday that she is my beautiful black princess...if not everyday, then I know it's at least 6 days of the week. And I know she receives it.

So to all the "Pops" out there, as we go into this holiday season, tell your daughters that she is your princess and you love her. Even if she is grown, tell her. I feel this is one of the best gifts we can give to our daughters...making them feel they are royalty to us.

Be T.R.U.E.
C Wells

How Many Times?

2011-12-04T22:38:00.005-05:00

Now I truly love my kids with every inch of my mind, body, and soul. But why do they make it a point to call my name a minimum of 50 times a day. Sometimes I just want to ignore them because in some cases, they don't want anything. They are just calling "Daddy".

One thing I do realize, and I consistently check myself to make sure I'm not slipping in the good father category, is that my kids want my attention. The thing is that it appears (maybe I am exaggerating a little) they want my attention every minute of the day. As I said before, I consistently check myself to see if I am spending the quality with them that they and I need to ensure our relationship lacks at nothing.

You see, while the consistent calling of "Daddy" gets tiring sometimes; I can't imagine not hearing the "Daddy" calls. It lets me know that they know "Daddy" is here and will always be here for us. I want them to always know that I am here...right now, in the near future, in the far future, and even when I depart this earth.

Yeah son and baby girl, you can call "Daddy" as many times as you want. I will always answer.

Be T.R.U.E.
C Wells

For The Right Reason

2011-11-30T12:44:00.013-05:00

It's been a long time...almost 2 years. Man, what have I been doing over this timeframe? Well, trying to be the best father I can for my kids. From my now 17 year old stepson, to my 6 year old son, and now my 2 year old daughter. It's been a constant and busy journey...with time being more precious than any jewel on this earth.

Still, I have no valid excuse why I haven't been submitting posts to my blog. Heck, everyday I have experiences, thoughts, ideas that running through my mind and I say..."I need to write that down and put on the blog". I guess I've been lazy or I would say that I've been undermining the need to document what's in my mind.

This morning, something hit me (not literally) and I realized I have to start pushing information into my blog. Surprisingly, it's not for the original reason why I started this blog some years ago...which is "To Restore, Unite, and Empower fathers". This morning I realized that I need to capture and document my thoughts in this blog to ensure I pass along the wisdom I gain over the years to my children.

You see, my boys will be fathers one day and my daughter will have a husband that will be the father of her children. I need to leave them with as much knowledge possible so they can learn the do's and don'ts of fatherhood...learning from my ups and downs. I owe this to them. Yes, I will consistently talk to them about different things in life, but when it's written down and archived, they can always fall back on what's written and published.

So it's my goal to keep a rhythm going with this blog. The posts may not be long, but they don't have to be. It may be two or three lines that I want to capture and share on the blog that may say more than 3 pages worth of words.

I just have to stay committed...and know that I am doing this for the right reason.

Be T.R.U.E.
C Wells

WHAT IS YOUR MEASURE OF SUCCESS?...

2009-12-02T23:11:00.001-05:00

The question that I ask myself is..."What do I want to be remembered for?". My answer to this question has become my lifelong measure of success. When I first dug into this question, I jotted down many things ranging from "remembered for creating meaningful and beautiful art" and "remembered for being fair and just in my business practices". I do feel these are very important in my life, but they were not in my Top 3.

My Top 3 "What do I want to be remembered for?" or my "Measure of Success" are:

1. I am known as a great husband, father, grandfather (one day in the distant future), and friend.
2. I tried helping people on a global scale
3. I showed the world I was a man of God by living a Godly life

Going forward, try to periodically ask yourself what do you want to be remembered for when you leave this life on earth. Answering this question honestly will put things in perspective and may cause you to make adjustments in your life to allow yourself to reach that level of success that you truly want to be remembered for. Reaching this won't come over night, but it will put you on a journey that will be full of many success stories along the way.

Take care and be blessed.

Help someone, encourage someone, pray for someone, pray with someone

Tapping Into Creativity

2009-07-09T00:03:00.003-04:00

Today, my little 3 year-old man wanted some grapes. Normal routine when he gets home…he wants a snack. I was preparing dinner as he ate his grapes when he said, “Daddy, I made a field goal”. I acknowledged him and said that was good. A few seconds later he said, “Daddy, I made a square. Do you want to see?” As I continued to prepare dinner, I told him good job again but chose not to go over to him to see the square he made with the grapes. A couple of seconds later, I realized I was not encouraging my son’s creativity at that moment. I immediately asked him,”What did you make now?” He replied, “An 11”. At that point I went over to him to see the “11” he made with the grapes (two grapes side by side). I told him that was a great job and he immediately ate another grape and said that he just made a “1”. It was over at that point.

I know it doesn’t seem as though there is much to this experience I had with my son, but it was a small creative event for him. I realized I should have gone over the first time he asked me if I wanted to see his square. He wanted me to see what he made out of those grapes…he wanted to show me his creativity.

We have to catch those moments of creativity in our kids at an early age and encourage them to continue being creative. Creativity exercises the brain. The more exercise the brain gets, the better it is at functioning. The more functioning it gets, the more knowledge it can take in and give out. I think we would be doing our kids and the world a big favor by encouraging our kids to continue tapping into their creativity.

Sparking that creativity may be the boost that leads them down the road of finding a cure for a disease, publishing a bestselling novel, or becoming one of the highest ranking officials in government. You never know. Let’s just be sure we are not too busy to notice our kids when they are trying to tap into their creativity.

Be strong and talk to you soon.

Acknowledge and Honor the Small Accomplishments

2009-06-27T01:23:00.008-04:00

Nothing is more satisfying to a young child than hearing his or her father saying "I am proud of you". These are words that can give lasting confidence to a child.

I found myself giving my youngest son a lot of praise the other night as he continued to learn new words while reading his Thomas the Train book. I was truly proud of his accomplishment and I wanted him to know that. Even though I don't think he knows how much of an accomplishment he is doing at the age of 3, he does know he is doing something good and he was happy when he heard me say that I was proud of him. At that point, he wants to do more of what he just did in order to hear me say again that I am proud of him. Do you see where I am going with this?

As fathers, we need to acknowledge as many things as possible that our children are doing to give them the confidence they need to continue accomplishing activities in their young lives. And don't wait for the big things to happen to acknowledge your child. Honor every little small thing that your child does. All the small acknowledgements build up to make a large bucket of acknowledgements.

This needs to start at birth so that when your child reaches the teenage years, they are overflowing with confidence...they will have the courage to take on any obstacle that may come their way.

While it is good that both parents provide this acknowledgement to the child, it is key that a father does it. A father's approval goes a long way with both sons and daughters.

Give your child the confidence that will last a lifetime.

Be strong and talk to you soon.

Daddy's Little Girl

2009-06-08T16:10:00.002-04:00

A new chapter has started in my life and this chapter brings a new perspective to me as a man. Earlier today my daughter was brought into this world. I currently have to boys in the household and I have a clear picture and plan on what I need to do to ensure they leave my house as young men. I now realize that with a little girl in the house, a new plan has to be put in place to ensure she knows what a good man is and that she knows how she is to be treated by a man once she becomes a woman. I must say that there is a strong sense of protection that I feel I must provide with my daughter and I know that I will do everything in my power to ensure she is protected along with my other children and my wife.

As a "true" father, I vow to love, provided, protect, and pray for my little bundle of joy for life.

All my love to little "Addy"...daddy's little girl.

Be strong and talk to you soon.

Teach Your Son to be a Man

2009-04-10T01:41:00.003-04:00

I have two boys in my household. What does that mean to me? That means I have the responsibility of ensuring they leave my household on a path to become a better man than I am…a better father to their children…a better spouse to their wife…a better contributor to society…a better follower of God. Many of us these days may not want to take on that responsibility. This is something that we must do. If we don’t, what is the repercussion?

As the father of a son, each day should be a day of teaching. I was listening to a popular radio morning show yesterday morning and they were talking about men not being involved in their children’s lives…in some cases this being the preference of the mother. As men, we should not allow something like this to even be an option. As a true man and true father, you should always demand to be in your son’s life no matter what the situation. It is only thru your presence will your son learn how to treat a woman…how to be a leader amongst other men…how to be manly.

Let us take control of what we are destined to do with our sons. We have to lift this load off of the mother of our son. The mother is not equipped mentally, physically, nor spiritually to truly raise a boy to be a man. Only a man can do this…this is how God intended it to be.

Let’s not disappoint!

Don't forget; send me those T.R.U.E. Father pics of you and the kids to post on the blog.

Be strong and talk to you soon.

The Gift of Life...Continuing to be a Father

2008-10-27T00:47:00.002-04:00

I quickly want to share my good news on this blog. With marriage, some couples choose to grow their family while others choose not to. Well, I just want to say that my wife and I will be growing our family by one. Sometime next summer, a new blessing will be added to the Wells' household.

I anticipate the next 7 or 8 months being another interesting journey. I know there is a lot to be learned during this process...as it was during the other pregnancy 4 years ago. I look forward to whatever comes...especially the daily husband to-do-list :(

I think I will share some of my ongoing pregnancy experiences over these next months. It will be therapeutic to me to get some things off my chest...whether anyone listens or not :)

That's all. Just wanted to share my news.

Be strong and talk to you soon.

Signs That You are Doing a Good Job as a Father

2008-09-12T00:07:00.005-04:00

I want to throw something at you to think about. How do you know if you are doing a good job as a father? Should we depend on others to tell us? Do we ask someone for feedback on how we are doing? These are good ways to get a feel on where you stand as a father, but feedback from others may be bias and sometimes over-opinionated. So how do you know?

Look internal. You look at yourself. Look at your actions. Look at your feelings. Look at your kid’s responses. Let me quickly explain. When you come home from work or you pick your kid up from daycare or school, what is your kid’s reaction when he or she sees you? My little man screams out DADDY each time I come home or when I pick him up from daycare. I can’t even explain how good that makes me feel. It truly makes me feel as though I am doing something right to get a response like that from him every day.

Next, how do you feel when you are away from you children for an extended period or when you miss one of your kid’s activities? If you feel nothing, then you need to check yourself to determine how involved you are in your kid’s life. If your kids remain constantly on your mind or you truly feel bad that you missed the activity, then that means you are and would like to be in every part of your kid’s life…acknowledging you are doing a good job as a father (even though you missed the event).

Lastly, how much do your kids like to hang out around you? Do they want to follow you around? Do they try to imitate things that you do? These are keys that tell you that you are making an impression on your kids. Just make sure you are doing positive things for your kids to imitate.

So I ask you now..."Are you doing a good job as a father?” Take a look at yourself and the actions of your kids to determine if you are doing all you can do to be a good father. If not, then step it up. If so, then keep the momentum going. We need to do all we can to ensure we produce a solid next generation.

I am going to leave you with that for now. Let me know if you are doing a good job as a father.

Don't forget; send me those T.R.U.E. Father pics of you and the kids to post on the blog.

Be strong and talk to you soon.

Happy Father's Day

2008-06-13T12:30:00.006-04:00

I just want to wish all the fathers out in the world...fathers that are active in their kids lives, fathers that are not active in their kids lives, fathers that want to be active in their kids lives, and soon to be fathers... a Happy Father's Day weekend. I pray that you take time this weekend to reflect on the responsibility and the blessing that God has entrusted you with...your child/children. I pray that many people call you this weekend to congratulate you and thank you for handling your business of fatherhood. For many, this is your first Father's Day...ENJOY IT!!! We don't get any other days of honor so we have to take advantage of this day. Try to do something special for yourself. A friend of mine told me that he goes out for a round of golf with a few other fathers he knows to celebrate the weekend. Whatever you do, do it with pride and enjoyment. And don't forget to thank God for another year as a Father!

Be strong and talk to you soon.

*** Don't forget to email pics of you and your kids for display in the "T.R.U.E. Pics" section. Email the pictures to cedricwells7@gmail.com . ***

We Are Teachers

2008-05-13T23:24:00.004-04:00

Fellas,

We were put on this earth to teach our kids, both sons and daughters.

If we are not there to teach our sons, how are they suppose to learn how to properly shave; how are they suppose to learn how to properly take care of the yard; how are they suppose to learn how to troubleshoot issues with the car; how are they suppose to learn how to change a flat tire; how are they suppose to learn how to throw a football, tackle, throw and catch a baseball; how are they suppose to learn how to treat a woman; how are they suppose to learn how to be a man?

If we are not there to teach our daughters, how are they suppose to learn how to trust a man; how are they suppose to learn how a man should treat a woman; how are they suppose learn what they should look for in a man; how are they suppose to learn that they are precious creatures that are not to be exploited; how are they suppose to learn that they are not to be abused by another man?

There are so many other questions that can be asked regarding how will kids learn things when fathers are not in their kid's life. We have to realize that we have one of the greatest responsibilities in this world...to raise the next generation. If we don't raise and teach our own kids about life and what it intels, whether in or out of the household, then who are we giving the responsibility to?...society?...cable networks?...video games?...older kids at school?

I know I may be preaching to the choir, but I hope someone will read this that may have overlooked his responsibility as a father and now realizes that he must be involved in his kid's life. It's not an option, it's a duty.

Be strong and talk to you soon.

What is a "Good Father"?

2008-03-18T23:33:00.012-04:00

I want to throw this question out there for you to get a pulse of what the perception is of "good fathers". What we think is a "good father" may not be what society perceives as a good father. We need to determine and establish a standard of what a good father is. Once we know this, then we need to live it so that it can be passed on to our sons and passed over to other fathers that we encounter.

So I ask you now..."What is a good father?" I want to compile comments to establish an outline and then start digging into each of the areas that are established. This will allow fathers to get wiser in areas they haven't encountered yet with their kids.

A close friend of mine, Chistopher H., gave me excellent feedback on what he feels a good father is. Here are his comments (verbetum)...

"My interpretation of a Good Father, would be someone who

is willing to accept the responsibility and consequences for

another individual's actions without hesitation or regret. A

multitasked individual who is committed whole heartedly

to facilitating the growth of his family: spiritiually, mentally,

physically, and financially. A "Good Father" , through careful

observation, must establish a road map for his children to include

flexibility, morality, and intergrity. Lastly, a "Good Father"

should strive to understand the better he maintains his

well-being the better servant is for his family. He must

understand the importance of maintaining his physical , mental,

financial and spiritual health to be the best Father he can be."

I am going to leave you with that for now. Let me know your definition of a "good father".

Don't forget, send me those T.R.U.E. Father pics of you and the kids to post on the blog.

Be strong and talk to you soon.

T.R.U.E. Father Pictures

2008-03-08T18:01:00.006-05:00

Guys, I really want to get this movement started. We need to not only talk about this thing called fatherhood, but we also need to show off fatherhood. With that being said, I want to start a "T.R.U.E. Father" picture slideshow on this blog. I want to display pictures of you with your kid or kids. This will serve as a little inspiration to fathers everywhere and I would hope that it will serve as motivation to fathers that need to be more active in their kid's life.

If you want to take part in this movement, please email your pictures (you and your kid/s) to cedricwells7@gmail.com . I want people around the world to see that men are doing what they were put on this earth to do...raise a family, community, nation, world.

Be strong and talk to you soon.

Purpose of T.R.U.E. Fathers

2008-03-06T20:41:00.007-05:00

Fathers, I would like to welcome you to a blog built for you. The purpose of this blog, which the name “T.R.U.E.” bares, is “to restore, unite, and empower fathers. In today's society, fatherhood is sometimes depicted as nonexistent in many households. Unfortunately, there are too many households that consist of children that don’t have their fathers active in their lives. For those fathers that are active in their child’s life, we need to make sure we remain active. Additionally, we need to talk about our experiences so that the next father out there reading this can learn from what we have experienced.

I also want to show people the happiness that fatherhood brings. By showing this happiness, I pray that those fathers not active in their children’s life will somehow be led to become active with their children. I know it’s going to take more than talking about it online, but this is a start. Eventually, fathers that know other fathers that are not active with their kids will need to give those fathers a push to become active. As Cain asked God in the book of Genesis, “Am I my brother’s keeper?”, we must realize that the answer to that question is yes, I am my brother’s keeper. With that being said, it is our responsibility to watch out for our brothers, friends, co-workers, and even people we don’t know.

This blog is for all fathers (and mothers please feel free to read also). It is for you to drive. While the blog will discuss topics that come to my mind regarding fatherhood, I would also like to discuss topics or questions that you may have on your mind. I want this to be an open forum for all to use. Because of this, I have asked several fathers that I am close to for assistance by providing their thoughts and expertise on the different topics being discussed. Each father will bring a different dynamic to a topic due to their situation. Their situations range from a single father raising a 5 year old girl to a married father raising five children. As for me, I am a married father raising two kids, a 13 year-old stepson and a 2 year-old son. So if you have any questions out there about fatherhood and what to do in a particular situation with your kids, please feel free to ask your questions thru the comment tool at the bottom of the posting (this can be done anonymously). I will post the question so that it can be discussed by fathers that may have the exact answer that you need. Your question may be just the thing that another father wanted to ask and needs an answer to.

Let's get this movement started. Let’s begin to restore, unite, and empower fathers.

Be strong and talk to you soon!